1,2… and 3!

*Disclaimer : this is not a pregnancy announcement! We are still a happy, child-free family and we are planning to keep it that way for a while :))

There comes a time in your life when you feel you need a change. you pack your bags with all the memories and you just go. 1405036_588099221226234_363523686_o

3 years ago we made this decision. One flight later, we were in London, starting a new life. Different feelings were racing through our head, we were unsure, scared, excited, full of hope, away from home… I wish I could say this feels like yesterday, but it actually doesn’t, as a lot of things had happened since that day.

We’ve been through better, we’ve been through worse, we fought so we can be who we are and where we are today. Was it hard? it sure was. was it worth it? no doubt!

So what have we done during these 3 years and what have we learnt?

We met a ton of people. Some of them were amazing soul healers, some of them were simply wonderful and became our family. Some of them were ok in that particular moment in time, and they vanished thereafter. We met some really bad people too, but fortunately they are not around us anymore.

We worked very hard, sometimes 7 days a week. We still do. For us, for our dreams.

We traveled back and forth between Romania, The UK and Italy. Being able to spend Christmas and Easter with your family is the most astonishing feeling ever. Family is very important to me.

We purchased our dream house and our dream car.

We got married! And it was the best day ever, full of surprises, surrounded by people who love us and care about us. Everything was so special and we will cherish that day (and night!) forever.

We became godparents and it was amazing.

We lost people we loved. And that was by far the hardest part… To know that the people you cared about dearly are no longer waiting for you to come home is extremely painful…and you feel guilty.

And most important, we learnt to love ourselves, and to be more confident. We became stronger. All the experiences, every word, all the people we’ve met shaped us, changed us. When they tried to put us down, we learnt how to stand tall. When they told us we don’t worth anything, we gained confidence. When we felt we couldn’t walk anymore, we kept going. When we weren’t sure, we found our faith.

Despite the difficult situations we may have faced, these 3 years have been amazing and if I were to go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing!

Cheers to more years together… in the UK, Romania, Germany, who knows?! As long as you hold my hand, I can (and will!) go wherever!

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I used to…

I used to admire you.

You were so confident, and I was not… you were so strong, and I was only beginning to learn how to stand alone. You were determined, and I didn’t know what I wanted.

I used to think you were the greatest, and I would feel so small.

I used to see you as beautiful, and my reflection had so many flaws.

But then…

Your words cut my skin, and I saw the real you.

You looked so confident, but it was just a mask. You looked so strong, but you were breaking into pieces. You looked determined, but it wasn’t your dream that you were chasing.

I thought you were the greatest, but it was an illusion of what you wanted to be.

I used to think you looked beautiful, but an ugly heart cannot make you shine.

I used to… but not anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Belonging neither here nor there

“Twelve thousand miles of it, to the other side of the world. And whether they came home again or not, they would belong neither here, nor there, for they would have lived on two continents and sampled two different ways of life.” Colleen McCullough, The Thorn Birds 

But do we actually need to belong somewhere? or maybe we can be free birds, flying from a country to another, experimenting different lifestyles, embracing other cultures, meeting new people and reinventing ourselves every time we land. Nevertheless, there will always be that place called home which we’ll terribly miss, that specific taste of traditional food which we won’t find even in the finest restaurants, those certain words that heal the scars on our soul.

The beginnings are bitter sweet, mixed feelings and emotions storm in your heart, in your mind, keeping you awake for many nights. You wonder if you made the right choice, if you chose the right people, if the sacrifices you make are worth it… and they do, they always do, even if your eyes and mind can’t see it, you know it in your heart.

Time goes by and you realise that all your worries have diminished, your biggest fears have become accomplishments, strangers have turned into your closest friends, streets that used to be unknown and cold are now taking you to your new home, so you think it’s time to settle down.But that’s not it, is it? It would be too easy. You miss all the excitement, all those questions that you couldn’t answer. You miss the new and everything that comes along with it, and it makes sense because once you’ve experienced the taste of living as a foreigner, you will always want more. Need more… A thirst than cannot be quenched.

100 reasons to stay and another 101 reasons to leave.

Next thing you know, you’re staring at your one way ticket, leaving everything behind, cutting all the strings, praying that this flight will change your life once again in the best way possible. You now have new goals to achieve and new perspectives, you have a new you, you are a changed person.

And that’s ok, because you don’t belong anywhere. You are not defined by a single place anymore,  footprints of all the grounds you’ve ever walked on are all over you, shaping your mind, influencing your decisions, giving you the answers you need.

Living abroad is not easy, but it is an exquisite journey and we are fortunate enough to be able to experience it.

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“I don’t photograph life as it is, but life as I would like it to be.”


and it really got me thinking about posting our entire life on social media, what we want other people to know about us and how we want to be seen by others.

Surely we all want to look fab, hiding our double chin by posing from the right angle, not breathing for several seconds just so we can capture the perfect photo of our perfect 6 pack. We have designer clothes, our make-up is on fleek all the time, we drink pumpkin spice latte regularly with our friends, and that’s always #squadgoals and #relationshipgoals.

Now I’m not saying I don’t do any of it (definitely guilty of not breathing when taking pics because – Big Mac!) from time to time, but in the same time I wish to stay true to  myself, family and friends by showing some real me, some no-make up – dressed in pj’s – messy bun me. The one that is not afraid to laugh even though her teeth won’t make you go blind by looking at them, the one who’s not afraid to cry when watching a sad movie even though she knows extremely well her mascara is not waterproof, the one who’s not afraid to eat what she adores even though the new dress she just bought won’t fit her the next day. A picture can capture a smile, but it will never capture the emotions, thoughts and feelings that came with that smile or made that smile happen.

Despite the fact we all want to show the entire world only the best version of ourselves (which is not entirely wrong because it is always better to spread positivity, kindness, hope and love rather than criticism), let’s not forget about what’s real.

Everyone is your friend on social media, even the ones who don’t necessarily like you, but want to keep you close so they can see what’s new in your life and if it’s better than theirs,  and everyone tells you how amazing you are, and what a great couple you make with your other half, but only you know what happens behind closed doors. I’ve met plenty of people that were “goals” on social media and soon after I discovered with great sadness that it was not the case, and a web of lies controlled their lives. It was like tearing off a beautiful wrapping paper only to find a present not as nice as you thought it’d be.

Even though I fully understand what Doisenau wanted to say by “I don’t photograph life as it is, but life as I would like it to be” (because this is the thing that got me thinking today. Whaaa, you think, mate?), let’s not photoshop our lives for others because we won’t get a chance to take a second picture of this moment.

but you can always use a filter. I like filters.